Leading in the mirror

One area of leadership that I think about often is leading one’s self. I feel like I’ve learned so much over my short 28 years of life and still fail to do all the right things. How do we go about leading ourselves? Is it possible that we can be the source of motivation that guides our actions? I go back and forth. At times I feel like I am making all of the right decisions and leading myself towards a better life. Then I will hit a wall and knowingly do something that I know is going to be negative.

We spoke a couple of weeks ago about setting goals and reminding ourselves of those goals on a regular basis. The study that you referenced in class was the foundation for a small group that developed during my undergraduate tenure at JMU. We called ourselves the Dream Team and the purpose of the group was to, not only set goals, but check in every two weeks and report on our progress to reach those goals. These goals were broken up based upon the duration of time it would take to achieve the goal. Short term, Mid-term, and long term goals were set by each person in the group and shared with everyone. Another key piece of this group was that we would be assigned a partner to connect with over the course of a given month. This encouraged us to meet someone new and motivate them to remain strong in their pursuits. I have experienced the power of goal setting.

Once the group disbanded, I really started to wrestle with the question of self-efficacy. Could I be as effective without someone holding me accountable? Not at all. Setting goals was still incredibly helpful but I did not achieve my goals with the same veracity that once existed. Fast forward a couple of years and I am getting married (Note: getting married was a mid to long term dream of mine when the Dream Team was in full force). With Kate, I have someone who ALWAYS holds me accountable lol. Perhaps a little too much at times but accountable nonetheless. While the experience is a little different I still find myself falling short of some of my goals.

I truly do believe that I have the power to lead myself and transform into a better version of myself. I never want to become someone else. I want to continue along my pathway and refine my attributes so that I can be more effective in my day to day life and make a positive impact on the world around me. Taking Ben’s class has really made me think introspectively about this topic and whether or not it is “really” possible to change or not. Will my shortcomings always exist or will I find a way to change my behavior and rid myself of them? At times I really want to believe that I can become something more and be perfect. I know this is unreasonable but it is still something that sticks in my mind. I used to conceptualize a belief I had known as “imperfect perfection”. The premise of this concept is that everyone has a different set of believes and values that accompanies their life experiences. There is no universal perfection that can be applied to everyone. Therefore, we each strive to utilize our imperfections and work towards our own interpretation of perfect.

I feel like many people develop obstacles within their minds that limit their ability to grow and achieve. Have you ever put a task off for a long period of time, only to complete the task at the most random time without giving much thought to it? I think that some researchers refer to this as a state of “Flow”. This concept means that we are living in working in an optimum state due to the environmental factors and tasks we occupy our time with. I think that this is the ultimate goal for me. To find my state of flow, where I can act and interact seamlessly with the world around me in the most effective way possible.