Do we really want to know what others think?

During our most recent reading, the topic of authentic leadership theory arose and tugged at my heartstrings. This may be a missing piece in my quest to regain my capacity for leadership. At some point over the past five years, my actions became disconnected from what I really believed. I attribute this to a moment of weakness where I convinced myself that I was better off pursuing a lifestyle that was not meant for me. When I graduated from JMU in 2010, I convinced myself that it was time to grow up and take a job that I knew I would hate. I had given up on my dreams and found myself sleeping without purpose for such a long time. Never give up on your dreams. Never stop chasing your dreams. Never find yourself convinced that you are too old to dream again.

Through this class, I find myself dreaming a little more each day. Colors are starting to gain vibrancy and the little things in my life are starting to matter to me again. I truly believe that this is because my actions and my beliefs are starting to coincide once again and I am regaining a true sense of authenticity. Often times we can identify authenticity in others and struggle to find this sentiment within ourselves. More often than not, we don’t want to even think about it because most of us find our actions disconnected from our values. I’m no different and I can’t say that I know anybody who lives 100% authentically. Thus, my thoughts on authentic leadership get hung up on these ideas. Are leaders more effective because they are authentic, or are they more effective because the portray authenticity?

I think that true authenticity has significant power that stems from energy and an ability to inspire others. I find it refreshing when I come across people who are comfortable in their own skin. More often than not, these individuals are typically seen as strange and out of touch with reality. Why should any of us want to live within a reality that asks us to conform to ideals that don’t support our values? Authentic people inspire me and remind me that it is ok to be different. As I write this, I reflect on a perspective that I had when I was an undergrad:

“Live your life like it is a movie, make it so exciting that it is impossible for the audience to turn away.”

My biggest takeaway from authentic leadership is that it takes time to develop and that it builds trust within followership. These two things are incredibly important to me as I try to develop my capacity for leadership. As a hockey coach for nine and ten year olds, the trust that I developed over time was more powerful than any knowledge I had or skill that I possessed. Kids seem to be the most reliable when it comes to judging character. You may be able to fool a child at first, but they will catch on to your true character before too long. I think that this is because kids don’t know how to be affected by environmental factors. This may be why we can learn so much from kids. They are more authentic and they don’t even know it.

I commented in one of my leadership journals that this leadership class was the most challenging out of the three classes I am currently taking. I can honestly say that I am being challenged in all the right ways and for all the right reasons. I am being forced to write journals like these that ask me to look at myself and write about leadership from my perspective. I am not sure if this is the real goal of the assignment but I am certainly enjoying the process.