Questioning...

Why do people strive to be leaders? This is a question I often ask as I have experienced some very challenging times as a leader. I once heard that leadership is the loneliest form of involvement and I can empathize with this sentiment. Is the pursuit of “leadership” a social construct that is placed upon us as a whole? Sometimes I think that some of the worst kinds of leaders are the ones who seek out leadership positions to claim the title of leader. I would argue that this is not real leadership and is really a form of ego-centrism.

Out of the three classes I am taking right now, leadership challenges me the most on a personal level. As an undergraduate at JMU, all I wanted to do was leave the University better than I found it. I worked hard to contribute to the community and positively impact the lives of those I came across. I think that I was, in some ways, thrust into leadership positions that I was not ready for. I may carry resentment towards JMU because I was stretched so thin. I also look back at myself and wish that I had found the ability to say “no” much earlier in my undergraduate career. That being said, I would not trade in that experience for anything. I have learned so much through both the successes I’ve had in my life as well as the failures and disappointments. It’s funny though, I often forget of my achievements as a leader and have to remind myself that I really have made a difference. My thoughts always gravitate towards my failures and disappointments with myself as they relate to leadership. My goal is to use these past experiences to guide me to a position that suits my character and abilities to help people. If that position is one of leadership, then I welcome it with open arms and a guarded heart.